I really should devote an entire blog to the insight I get from Dr. Castleman's New Testament class. She is seriously so so incredible.
Last week, we were talking about how sometimes we don't feel like we deserve what we're facing, and not always understanding why God lets us go through things. She pointed out that, really, we all deserve hell. Anything else is a blessing in itself. God's grace allows us to suffer temporarily instead of eternally. 
WOW. I think maybe I've thought about that before, but I've never really gotten it. 
I get it now.
Sometimes I constantly find myself asking God "Why?" I know and (try to) accept that He doesn't have to explain Himself to me. But I'm a little girl at the dinner table asking why I have to eat cabbage instead of cupcakes for dinner, or a young boy at his mother's feet crying that she took away my favorite toy. Sometimes God answers, "Because it's good for you. You don't understand why right now, but someday you will." And sometimes I need Him to simply remind me, "You're lucky that's all you're getting. You deserve a lot worse." Because truly, I do. We all do.
Sometimes I get so mad at God, and I feel like He's having no mercy on me. I don't understand why I'm being put through something, I don't see how He could possibly make beauty from my brokenness. I don't think it's fair. I throw fits, I fail to see God's sovereignty. Honestly though, how wrong can I be? How far from a humble, broken spirit can I be that I forget that I'm not being sent to the eternal fire we all deserve? How can I forget the Cross? How can I forget that Jesus paid everything, so I don't have to? And then I whine about my "unfair" circumstances? Romans 5:8 says, "While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." How fair was that? How undeserving Jesus was to take on all of our flaws and sins, Himself flawless and blameless.
We're all sinners and have fallen short of the glory of God. Anyone who disagrees with that is sadly deluded. 
God is big enough to handle us being mad at Him. We can scream, cry, and throw fits. But I am so thankful that His goodness doesn't rest on my understanding. It's okay to not understand. But not for one minute are we undeserving of anything we are dealt. Only when I let that truth sink in can I actually start to understand what being "joyful in suffering" really means. God takes our filth, sin, and rebellion, and sees us pure and spotless. That is what really matters. Romans 4:8 says "Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord will never count against him." If you've accepted Jesus, you are one of those blessed men. From this point on, I resolve to be deliberate in counting blessings rather than sufferings. 
God's promises don't rest on us; He is who He says He is through any season of faith. He is so good and faithful, even when we're not. He is making ALL things work together for the good of those who love Him even when we can't feel Him working. He is sovereign and full of love and mercy whether we recognize that or not.
We are being refined.


You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.
1 John 4:4


I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.
Romans 8:18


Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.
Romans 5:3-4

And after all that has come upon us for our evil deeds and for our great guilt, seeing that you, our God, have punished us less than our iniquities deserved and have given us such a remnant as this.

Ezra 9:13

For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 6:23

But the one who does not know and does things deserving punishment will be beaten with few blows. From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.

Luke 12:48

WHY, God, am I facing this?
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls.
1 Peter 1:3-9